It's Natural

Caring for a younger little person is second nature for my children, but I never saw it coming.  I had heard that in bigger families this kind of caring for one another can happen naturally.  I looked for this phenomenon years ago in my children, but did not see it materialize. Then, we had twins.

When the twins arrived we were thrown into a world of stepping slower and bending lower, out of necessity.  It was “all hands on deck” and we have kept that motto ever since. 

Sono Harris used to say that the youngest child should set the pace of the family, not the oldest.  Even Jacob from the book of Genesis knew this truth.  He knew what hard travel would do to the young ones in his care.  “Then Esau said, “Let us journey on our way, and I will go ahead of you.”  But Jacob said to him, “My lord knows that the children are frail, and that the nursing flocks and herds are a care to me. If they are driven hard for one day, all the flocks will die.  Let my lord pass on ahead of his servant, and I will lead on slowly, at the pace of the livestock that are ahead of me and at the pace of the children, until I come to my lord in Seir.” It was a season of slowing down for Jacob.

Think what would happen if we insisted that our three year old do all that our fourteen year old does. If we brought our three year old along for the ride whenever Jackson does his all day and into the night grass cutting at his Grandmother’s,  or we allowed Elias to run in the pitch black for hours to play late night flash light tag.  Not only are these allowances not healthy for a three year old, neither are they safe. 

We have had to say “no” to certain events and invitations due to our young children.  The alternative to always saying “yes” has resulted in a slower more home bound life.  I have found that our older children order their days around the knowledge that they will be needed to help care for their younger siblings.  We don’t tell them to do this, they just know.

Some may say, “That is not fair to require that of your older children.  Just think of the burden you are placing on them and all of the things they are missing.”  But our two older children, and even our six year old twins, do not see what they “miss” because they have each other.  When we do have days that are faster and filled to the brim, or when my oldest children do more apart from their younger siblings, they will often regret their time away to some degree or need to recharge by being at home with family. 

It is like the grandmother I met last summer who grew up in Queenstown, Maryland.  She had told me that several years ago she moved to “busier” Kent Island.  We were both pushing two year olds on the swing set in Queenstown, and she began to reminisce.  “You know, I loved it here.  I spent my whole life here. “I asked her what she thought of the way things had changed since her childhood.   She told me she was glad for her childhood, the way she was raised.  “We didn’t know we were missing anything.  We never went to a mall.   We were happy because we didn’t know what we were missing.”  She spoke about family and friends rather than experiences.

That struck me.  It calmed some of the questions and thoughts that come to my mind in this fast paced world.  What if… what if my children don’t ever do…or get to experience…  This woman had no regrets and no bitterness from her smaller, slower world as a child.  It made me smile inside. 

I have seen empathy and nurturing increase in our lives because there is always someone who needs care.  And yes, we complain and we dream of servants who can work for us and hours of free time, but we do not dwell on these thoughts.  We move on because we are needed.  And when we give, we find that it is more blessed than to receive.

My oldest is very close to my youngest.  There is a 10 ½ year difference between the two.  My daughter, almost 12, longs for more babies to care for, or to “mold into her own little minions.”  I am content with whatever God intends for the number of children in our family.  I can see that no matter how many children we have, the hearts of the children we have now will only grow in compassion and care for others.  And I pray that by the grace of God, they will look to slow down their adult lives in order to walk along side others. I hope they love people, no matter what the cost. 

Today, as my children ran out into the back yard and disappeared into the woods, I heard one after the other call to their youngest brother. “Elias!  Where are you?  Come here.  Don’t go there, be careful.”  My little son was surrounded by his brothers and sister as he stepped into a wood that seemed to swallow him up.  I stood in the backdoor smiling, sipping my coffee.  One day he may need to call on his siblings to contend with him as he faces the enemies in his life.  I do not think he has anything to fear.  I can see them come to his aid and it will be a day of reckoning.  As one man, they will fight for one another and for their God.  It’s natural; they know nothing else.

~Your Fellow Sojourner

Our own home grown militia. 

Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord,

the fruit of the womb a reward.

Like arrows in the hand of a warrior

are the children of one's youth.

Blessed is the man

who fills his quiver with them!

He shall not be put to shame

when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.

Psalm 127

Jackson and Bella explore the cannon.

Winston, poised and ready.