Turning Back

      I am a collector of stories.  I want to know the telling of someone else’s life, both true stories, and those stories that have been birthed only in the mind.  When I hear a story that has no ending, I put it into a category all its own.  “To be continued…”  Just like those television series that leave you on the edge of your seat.  You have to tune in next week for the conclusion, hopefully. 

      Stories are even more poignant when I am personally part of the story that is unfinished.  It means I must wait.  Some of the waiting can be easy and some can be all consuming.   But when a chapter of a story that has yet to be finished, ends with “thank you”, the waiting is eased.  I can put that story into the “ok, this is going to end alright” category.   The anxiety is lessened because I have been given the privilege to glimpse a little bit of the ending, and it promises to be good.  

       Many times I hope that the things that I do will make a difference in someone at some point.  My motives are not often good, for I find that I am looking for a certain ending in return.  But I am learning that I have no right to demand a particular outcome in someone else’s story, just as I am called to give without looking for payment in return.  “Go and be blessed” should be my refrain.  

     This is a freeing frame of mind for the giver.  It does not keep one in a place of burdened waiting, seeking the outcome of a life style change, a better person in the one that has been helped.  This outcome is not for me to seek.  This is the beauty of giving with an open hand, a hand that cannot close its fingers around anything.  It is the hand of giving that clings to nothing.  There is an immediate return of joy and peace for the one who gives and then seeks nothing else. 

     Two times I found myself on the receiving end of “thank you” this year.  To say my heart was full was an understatement.

      A neighbor girl who lived next to us for the latter half of her childhood turned back to thank me this year.  We had talked and prayed and cried into the night with this girl, pleading with her to run to God for the healing of her hurt and wounded heart.  A meal here, a time to laugh there, the gift of a kitten, a pair of shoes for the prom, a bowl of ice cream, a Christmas card and a hundred hugs.  But the story continued on, and we did not know the ending.  Then, from another state and another time in her life, she turned back.   “I never told you, Ms. Kate, but …”  I sat there, tears of joy flowing into a hand that had been kept open.  Category change.

      Another one came and knocked on our door last night.  A family, not yet all together, came to say hello and to let us know they were ok.  They had moments of need and crisis in the past and we helped in the meager ways that we could – some meals, “you are welcome here”, some money, handshakes, and prayers.  It was not much and we knew it would not bring an ultimate solution to their problems.  But, we hoped that somehow they would remember our care for them.  They could have been us – it was an honor to help them.   “We just wanted to come by and tell you…”  A joyful  miraculous gift on Christmas.  A gift of “thank you”.  Another category change.

      Why does “thank you” mean so much?  I believe that a genuine thank you happens when a person has a deeper understanding of what it cost the giver.  It could have been a monetary cost or an emotional one, and most probably, the choice to give meant that the giver made himself vulnerable.  They know that someone else cared to help fill a need and mend a wound.  Saying “thank you” is a way to give back.  In the act of turning back, the thankful one stops to honor a person.  They build a memorial, not with stones, but with words.  Thankful words full of meaning that plant themselves into our souls.  Words that sow seeds of future grace.  Grace to open our hands again.  And so I pray, “Keep my hands open, Lord.  And when I receive from someone who is turning back, may I turn again to You, and give You thanks. Amen.”

                                                                  ~Your Fellow Sojourner

            “On the way to Jerusalem he was passing along between Samaria and Galilee. And as he entered a village, he was met by ten lepers, who stood at a distance and lifted up their voices, saying, “Jesus, Master, have mercy on us.” When he saw them he said to them, “Go and show yourselves to the priests.” And as they went they were cleansed.  Then one of them, when he saw that he was healed, turned back, praising God with a loud voice; and he fell on his face at Jesus' feet, giving him thanks. Now he was a Samaritan.  Then Jesus answered, “Were not ten cleansed? Where are the nine? Was no one found to return and give praise to God except this foreigner?” And he said to him, “Rise and go your way; your faith has made you well.”

 (Luke 17:11-19 ESV)