I am not a
very “qualified” person to be thinking too much on this subject, but it is one
in which I am becoming more and more accustomed. It reminds me of the motto Chris and I
adopted when we found out we were expecting twin boys ~ have no expectations,
and take it one day at a time. We found
wisdom in that perspective then, and I am finding wisdom in that motto now, as my
oldest turns 13.
One of the worst things I have found in parenting my boys, is the
insecurity that infects them when I am holding them back, as they are ready to move forward. I often do not
know when these moments will occur, but I am becoming more and more aware of
the importance of these opportunities. In these times, my boys will have an
infusion of courage to take on a risky venture, and then seek approval from me
as they take on the task. It
is very reminiscent of knighthood.
Winston discovered this himself.
Not so long ago, the twins attempted
bike riding. With this new activity came
the thrill of victory and the agony of defeat.
During this learning process, Winston came into the house and very
emphatically told me, “I can do this! I
am God’s knight! I can do anything. I can cross a bridge. I cannot be afraid of anything!” After I had recovered from this string of
strong declarations coming from my five year old, I told him that he just might
find that he is afraid some time, and that it would be ok. I told him that he would need to pray and ask
Jesus to help him. To which he replied, “Cousin
Mia is the bestest knight, Mom.” Point lost. I asked
him later what he meant by that and he just looked at me like, “You don’t
know, Mom? Well, I can’t help you.” But, I was certain that he was truly unafraid
of just about anything at that moment because he could ride a bike. He was a knight upon his trusty steed.
Another “boys to men” milestone occurred
this past month when my husband informed my eldest son that he was now ready to
use the lawn tractor. It was a Saturday
morning, right after breakfast, and the entire family witnessed the passing of
the cutting of the lawn from father to son.
Jackson did not say much, but smiled and quietly rode the tractor with
dignity and pride. Now, if you had seen
the rest of the children’s reactions, you would have thought that we were being
visited by royalty. They
watched mesmerized as Jackson went round and round the house in the
tractor. The twins were ecstatic and
jumped up and down and hugged each other.
Then they said, “Next he is going to drive a car!” Bella and Elias cheered him on as well. I sat calmly in my bath robe, sipping coffee,
watching my family react to their brother taking on the job of a man. They rejoiced.
This is what was supposed to happen.
They knew that it was the right time for their brother to mow the lawn,
and they felt the weight and joy of it themselves.
Earlier this summer, Jackson came up
to me before he went to bed and told me that he was not too comfortable with
the fact that he was growing taller than me.
I knew it was a tender moment, a small glimpse into his soul. I asked him why he felt that way, and he was
not quite sure. And then I knew. It was his way of saying, “I am realizing
that manhood is coming for me soon, and I don’t know if I am ready for that.” I put my arm around him and told him that
just because he is getting taller does not mean that I am going to change. I am still his mother and I am still “one
tough cookie”. To which he looked very relieved. He knew I would not let him traverse these
years alone. He knew that I was going to
enter these years with him just as courageously as Winston on his bike. He knew that I loved him as a boy and will
love him as a man.
It is a sweet time for this mother’s
heart. I have boys growing into manhood
all around me. The day will come when my sons will instruct
and protect me, and at this I will marvel.
I will be in awe of what the Lord has done.
~ Your Fellow Sojourner
[41] Now his parents went to
Jerusalem every year at the Feast of the Passover. [42] And when he was
twelve years old, they went up according to custom. [43] And when the
feast was ended, as they were returning, the boy Jesus stayed behind in
Jerusalem. His parents did not know it, [44] but supposing him to be in
the group they went a day's journey, but then they began to search for him
among their relatives and acquaintances, [45] and when they did not find
him, they returned to Jerusalem, searching for him. [46] After three days
they found him in the temple, sitting among the teachers, listening to them and
asking them questions. [47] And all who heard him were amazed at his
understanding and his answers. [48] And when his parents saw him, they
were astonished. And his mother said to him, “Son, why have you treated us so?
Behold, your father and I have been searching for you in great distress.”
[49] And he said to them, “Why were you looking for me? Did you not know
that I must be in my Father's house?” [50] And they did not understand the
saying that he spoke to them. [51] And he went down with them and came to
Nazareth and was submissive to them. And his mother treasured up all these
things in her heart. [52] And Jesus increased in wisdom and in stature and
in favor with God and man.
(Luke
2:41-52 ESV)
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