Joyful Stability, No Matter What

       The threat of thunder on a pool day has loaded implications for a house full of children on summer break.  Yet, it happens, and Mom gets the fun job of explaining why we have to stay home.  Sullenness and general malaise begin to set in, and I am left to sipping my coffee, thinking about what to do now.  

We all know that plans change often in this life.  Yet our children are the least likely to understand these changes.  They do not have the life experience to understand that there are a lot of circumstances that affect decisions and the changing of plans.  Add the current tenuous state in our culture to the lack of life experience, and you can have some seriously downtrodden kids.  Who knows what may lie around the corner, or the following week?  No one knows. 

How do we help them to walk through a forever changing world? How do we make plans and keep hope alive in such a fragile climate?  

The answers may be real and hard, but they are also trustworthy and true.  The affects of what we do as parents can be life long. The powerful lessons we learn from navigating through life’s unknowns can be passed down for generations.   

On the Merced  by Tamara Keiper

Our children have recently learned that things may not go as they had hoped in every area of their lives.  What will my camp be like, if I still get to go? Will my friends be aloud to play with me?  Will I be able to see my grandparents?  What will my school be like?  They live with these questions, constantly.   

We have been commissioned by God to live biblical lives in the face of whatever our culture does. This calling necessitates living uprightly before the face of God.  Our children should understand that our God is constant and unchanging, and so is His Word.  His yes is yes, His promises are true, His character does not change and He is our God and Father.  

But how often are we more moved by the latest news report or the predictions of our own hearts than the unfailing promises of God?  We may be really good at hiding our emotions about the current state of affairs or our thoughts of the future from our children, but our mouths and body language too often betray us, and out of our anxious hearts, we speak.   

I have been resisting fear and apprehension over the past few years, and it is hard work.  The discipline of returning to the restful presence of the Lord often slips through my fingers. Keeping the first things first and maintaining a godly life in our home is hard.  It requires being intentional, reforming often, and refocusing.  It means saying “no” to many things in order to say “yes” to what truly matters.  

As we enter the last days of summer, It is a good time for us as parents to pull off the parenting highway and make a rest stop.  We need to ask ourselves where we are going. Is this the direction we want to head with our families?  Are we helping our children to know and live a stable, God-centered life, or are we showing them what it is like to barely hang on and just push through?  

These are the things that I am looking at in my life as I pull over and think through what our coming school year will be like:

 *How are my regular times with the Lord?  Are they more like a Chick-fil-A drive thru or the quiet corner of a cafe?

 *How is our consistency with family Bible reading and prayer?  Is it more like praying over pizza and walking away with a slice or like sitting around the table and enjoying one another’s company?

 *How am I responding when our plans/routines change throughout the day?  Is it like rummaging through the cabinet for that emergency snickers bar or like sipping my way through a fresh cup of coffee?

 *How is my level of joy throughout the day?  Is it rare, like finding the last gourmet ice cream bar in the back of the freezer or like enjoying the planning, preparing and serving of a beautiful home made meal? 

 *How do I end and begin my days?  Is it like cramming a granola bar in my face as I walk to the car or more like slowly savoring an ice cream cone on the porch swing?

Notice that I have attempted to equate these questions with eating, drinking and relating to others.  Times of refreshing come as our souls are nurtured and fed by God.  He says to come, buy and eat, even when we do not feel worthy, so that our souls may be fed.  We know that we cannot give what we do not already have.  So the more we find ourselves in the blessed place of giving to others, the more we must sit at the feet of the One who leads and replenishes us in sweet green pastures.  

The answer to navigating our families through this life is to keep our own walk with the Lord constant and close.  It is here that our souls will be fed, and where we can unload our own heavy burdens. We can listen, drink in, and know the constant unfailing mercy and grace of the Lord for HIs own.  The Savior, like a shepherd, will lead us.  

He has sought you and saved you, not so you can just muddle through, but so you and your children can walk closely with Him.  Here we find rest for our weary souls and a joyful stability in a changing world.  

    You keep him in perfect peace

            Whose mind is stayed on You,

            Because he trusts in You.

            Trust in the Lord forever,

            For the Lord God is an everlasting rock.

            Jer. 26:3-4

           We cannot right an entire ship over night and so we must begin with prayer.  As we cast ourselves onto Christ, let us put our trust in His life changing work.  As we present ourselves to Him, let us trust in His leading.  What He has promised in His Word, He will do.  

Seek the LORD while he may be found;

call upon him while he is near;

⁷  let the wicked forsake his way,

and the unrighteous man his thoughts;

let him return to the LORD, that he may have compassion on him,

and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon.

⁸  For my thoughts are not your thoughts,

neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD.

⁹  For as the heavens are higher than the earth,

so are my ways higher than your ways

and my thoughts than your thoughts.

¹⁰  “For as the rain and the snow come down from heaven

and do not return there but water the earth,

making it bring forth and sprout,

giving seed to the sower and bread to the eater,

¹¹  so shall my word be that goes out from my mouth;

it shall not return to me empty,

but it shall accomplish that which I purpose,

and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it.

¹²  “For you shall go out in joy

and be led forth in peace;

the mountains and the hills before you

shall break forth into singing,

and all the trees of the field shall clap their hands.

¹³  Instead of the thorn shall come up the cypress;

instead of the brier shall come up the myrtle;

and it shall make a name for the LORD,

an everlasting sign that shall not be cut off.”

        Is. 55:6-10

Myrtle Cottage Garden by Sir Cedric Lockwood Morris

May you have more grace and peace in the days to come, and may you know the sweet presence of the Lord in your home ~ Your Fellow Sojourner

Here are some ideas that have worked for us as we seek to maintain the joyful stability of a Christ centered home. As you prayerfully seek the Lord, may He lead you to your own rhythms of worship and work in your home.

   *Keep to a wake time and a bed time throughout the entire year, even in the summer.  Of course, enjoy the fun exceptional times with family, friends and vacations.

   *Shoot for family worship after dinner twice a week.  Have your plans and materials all ready made so you can grab and go.  (Having desert when you are finished is fun too.)

   *Keep dinner time sacred.  If you are here at dinner time - you eat with the family at the dinner table and engage in conversation together.  (This can be the hardest time of day for a lot of families for many reasons - food flying, tempers flaring, lima beans - really?! - but its worth it, trust me.)

   *Its important, necessary and good for you as a parent to keep your own morning and evening routines that you look forward to because they are restful and nourishing.  This is where I can grab my coffee, my Bible, my notebook and be in the presence of the Lord or read an enjoyable book. I find that this can be the hardest area to stick to, but again, it is so good.  Lord, help us!!

   *Find the support community that keeps your values and priorities of worship and fellowship.  This will help support you and your family in a multitude of ways.  Yes, people are messy, but so are you!  Regular Sunday worship, meals with friends, and fellowshipping with other like minded people are great joy boosting activities for you and your family.  

Here is a short list:

    *Wake and Sleep Schedule

    *Family Worship 2x a week

    *Dinner time as a family

    *Establish my own wake/sleep routine of prayer, reading and meditation

    *Keep Sunday Worship, meals with friends, and times of fellowship a priority

Father, Forgive Them

     My first baby rocked my world, literally.  Jackson came in with Hurricane Floyd and left emotional and physical damage in his wake.  I was forever changed.  As I sought to regain my footing after the birth of my son, I became a student of what truly mattered, sleep. Sleep is essential for life, and so is peace - therefore, I was in constant search of both.  We eventually learned how to live with one another, and the tears became fewer and fewer, for both of us.  Peace finally came after the life altering storm of Jackson’s birth. 

Parenting will change you.  Actually, most close relationships will change you.  You learn to bend and give, to let go and hang on. People need people, but people can also be hard to live with.  

When the hard and unexpected come in our relationships with our children, we either want to fight or flee, and we usually try both.  We want the storm to be over.  We want the rest and peace to return.  We cannot deny that with children, storms will follow. 

The Cradle by Berthe Morisot

I find that as the years fly by, life tends to become very full.  My life is overflowing right now, and for that I am eternally grateful.  God has blessed me with many people to love and care for.  And so, with many relationships, I have had to weather many storms.  

One of the hardest and most painful things to endure as a mother are the words and attitudes from our older children that are meant to jab and hurt.  We would rather be hurt by sticks and stones than by the stinging words that can never be retracted.  What do we do in times when parents and children do not understand one another or even like each other.  How can things ever change?  Haven’t we been over this same ground before, unearthing old wounds and conflicts?  The answer is yes, we have.  So, where do we go from here?  We just want the storm to stop; we want a life of peace.

Jesus often found himself in the midst of storms that he needed to calm, resolve or ride out.  While he walked on earth and interacted with people, he confronted the hard moments with words that were pointed and true, trusting the truth to do its work.  He knew that his Father in heaven was in complete control and that every stormy encounter happened for a reason.  God was working in the hearts and minds of people.  God the Father wanted people to learn how to trust Him, to let go of what they thought would be the answer, but never would be.  Jesus would speak the truth, trust his heavenly Father, and wait for God to do His will, His good, perfect and holy will. 

But there was one storm that Jesus did not stop.  He willingly went to the cross and died a sinner’s death. Christ knew why he had to do what he was sent to do, even though his disciples did not.  They tried to understand, but fell short.  Even one of his closest friends turned on him, denying he ever knew him.  Yet, Jesus stood his ground, knowing that he had to ride this storm out in order to save his people, even the ones who spat in his face. “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.”  And then, he gave up his spirit.  There was no better thing for him to do, there was no better place for him to go.

After a difficult week with my children, I remembered the words of Christ, “Father, forgive them…for they know not what they do.”  My children do not know what they are doing when they come at me with hurtful words.  They are sinners, just as I am.  They do not see all that their sin is doing, just as I don’t always see all of the effects of own my sin.  We are both at fault and we are both in need of the Father’s forgiveness.  

The Prodigal Son by Rembrant

As I turn to the Father with my pain, I am reminded that Christ is my example.  I need to forgive the one who has sinned against me, for they know not what they are doing.  I know that as I forgive them, I am leaving them with their heavenly Father.  There is no better thing for me to do, there is no better place for either of us to be.  And as I forgive them, I let go of what I think will be the answer.  The peace of God drives the storm away.  

As we look to the Father for strength to forgive our children, we see where our own sins have been forgiven.  In light of such forgiving grace, let us set our faces like a flint and go where the Father sends us.  Let us learn to stand our ground in the midst of the storm and speak words of sustaining truth and forgiveness. We will not be put to shame as we watch the peace of God come to our homes.

~ Your Fellow Sojourner

“The Lord GOD has given me

the tongue of those who are taught,

that I may know how to sustain with a word

him who is weary.

Morning by morning he awakens;

he awakens my ear

to hear as those who are taught.

 The Lord GOD has opened my ear,

and I was not rebellious;

I turned not backward.

 I gave my back to those who strike,

and my cheeks to those who pull out the beard;

I hid not my face

from disgrace and spitting.

 But the Lord GOD helps me;

therefore I have not been disgraced;

therefore I have set my face like a flint,

and I know that I shall not be put to shame.”

Isaiah 50:4-7