For some reason, and I still haven’t quite figured out why, people often ask me, “So, how do you do it all?” I always laugh at this question because I really don’t know, but then again I do.
A progression in my life brought me to where I am today. I did not grow up learning all the details of domesticity. In fact, I bulked at anything more than vacuuming or baking up a box of brownie mix. I used to tell my grandmother that I was most definitely going to have a maid when I got older. Domesticity taken care of, check.
When I hit adulthood I knew I could not do life without an all encompassing vision for my life. Who can wade through hundreds if not thousands of ideologies about how to live without a compass? So, I latched on to my “true north,” a person, Jesus Christ. My life’s vision and mission became solidified. All of Christ for all of life.
Then entered the love of my life and the other loves of my life. I became a wife and mother. Instead of just adjusting to these two new roles in my life, I discovered who I was and what I loved even more so; my life was enhanced. The things that didn’t really matter so much faded into the background and I pursued what really mattered, what I really loved.
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| Waiting By the Window by Carl Hosoe |
What I have gained in return for laying my life down for others has been an amazing journey of blessing upon blessing. Waiting for the better thing has become so sweet to me. The art of waiting is like reading a story, waiting for the turning point when all comes to light, finally making sense of the mystery.
I live an amazing, full life that came to me as a gift. I keep unwrapping what comes my way and finding joy and awe and treasure inside. I have turned the radio station of the world down to an almost inaudible whisper. Instead, I have tuned in to where God shows forth His glory and His beauty. It is a hard fight, but the gains are innumerable.
So, I don’t do it all. Instead, I fight to do less well. Several years ago my husband and I adopted a motto, “less stuff, more people.” Less time worrying about what will not last in exchange for what will last forever. Less time doing and running to and fro to things that are not our passions. More time stopping and reflecting, asking ourselves, what do we need to be doing right now, what do our children need right now, our loved ones? Is this someone else’s passion or our own? Letting go of more and slowing down to savor what we believe to be most important to us, and to God.
So, what does that look like? It means we often have a family consensus if the television screen gets pulled out from behind our living room furniture. We talk over plans and hear one another out before we put things on the calendar. We drop what we are doing if a loved one presents a need. We go slowly with our young ones and with those that are carrying a lot emotionally. We give grace because we know all too well that we cannot live without it. We think about who we want to be and what that looks like. We press in to one another. We listen to and counsel one another and pray that we can extend our circle of gracious living.
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| Summer Fruit by Li Zhou |
We know our plans and priorities will change, even daily, and we roll with it. I have begun to jot down what was most memorable at the end of each day in my planner. So instead of focusing on what we didn’t do that day, I end the day with what did happen and I am filled with joy and wonder.
It is a road less traveled. It is slower. The outside voices are very few, but the old and true is all around us. The conversations are long and deep, the meals are big and boisterous, the mornings are intentional and sacred, the music and songs play all day long, the art is all around us, and the fight is constant. The dragon is prowling around the castle walls, plotting and disguising himself, hoping to enter, to infiltrate, kill, steal, and destroy. We know we must be vigilant and fight but we are not alone. We have Another who is leading and guiding, singing His song in the night.
Outside can be ever changing, always moving, full to the brim, but inside we are pressing forward to rest, to peace, to joy. This is the key - the life inside guides the life outside. Looking ahead and not down at your feet. Looking in the direction you are headed, not staring at where you stand. Where you are now is not your final destination.
And so the answer is that we don’t do it all. No one can. In fact doing it all will kill you one way or another. We say “no” to some things in order to say “yes" to others. We let go to hold on to more, and we leave the rest to a sovereign God. We choose to live in simple pursuit of something that is not of this world. And that is how we truly can do it all, all that truly matters.
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| Wheat Field with Cypresses by Vincent van Gogh |
We know that though we try our best to choose correctly, God’s ways are not our own. We are His, and when we are truly His, we look to Him for the what and where and why. And in this looking we rest - we rest content and secure that He is the one who directs our steps and brings about any and all fruitfulness. This is where the “sweet spot” of life is - not when everything is working out and we are in a groove, but when we rest, in the hands of the One who made us and leads us.
My motto when it comes to “doing stuff” ~ wisely plan, then wait to be led. Hold one’s plans with open hands; this is a way to worship with our time. It is freedom to be led. We all follow something, let it be the One who holds all of our days and hours in his loving hands.
~ Your Fellow Sojourner
“You keep him in perfect peace
whose mind is stayed on you,
because he trusts in you.
Trust in the LORD forever,
for the LORD GOD is an everlasting rock”
- Isaiah 26:3
