One day I saw a blind man walking. I had come to a stop at a busy intersection when a young man boldly walked across the road. I saw his walking stick moving quickly from side to side. He smiled broadly and turned to wave to the cars on either side of him. He continued on his way and the light turned green. I was in awe for a moment. Instead of pitying the blind man, I pitied myself. He was blind, but he was walking. I wanted faith to walk like him.
My youngest son likes to play a game that requires the faith of a little child. He likes to go walking around with a blanket on his head, pretending to catch one of us. My son will walk into a room, arms outstretched, with a blanket covering all but his little legs. He laughs as he bumps into furniture and people but he never takes the blanket off of his head. He feels safe because he trusts his siblings and he trusts his home. He knows his family will not betray him and that his surroundings have not suddenly changed. He has confidence even in his blindness.
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| Liam, Winston, and Elias camouflaged in their "Monkey Tree". |
Everyday we are called to walk through something or toward something unknown. We live blindly. But we do have choices in our blindness, whether to freeze or take steps of childlike faith. Faith is blind, but faith in a Hope that never disappoints is sure.
My blind Grandmother was never without a smile and always had the energy to step toward whoever came through her door. This little Italian woman loved to be busy and loved to be with her family. She would always greet me with a hug and a kiss and then feel my face. I remember the day I found out that she was blind. I couldn’t believe it. She didn’t act like a blind person should. She was too sure of herself. I did not think of my Grandmother as a blind woman, but as a woman who would never turn you away and would always make sure you were welcomed and loved. She had pushed through her blindness, had accepted it, and was loving others on the other side of it. Her love was fueled by faith, a faith that enabled her to love.
There was a night during the last few months that seemed particularly dark to me. Sadness, emptiness, and fear seemed to become a part of the pitch black night. I was frozen by my feelings and could not see past my own self pity. I cried out to God. I told Him I did not know what to do or what to think. I felt like the blind man that Jesus met in Bethsaida.
In Bethsaida, Jesus meets a blind man. Instead of healing the man’s blindness right away he takes the blind man by the hand and leads him outside of the city. Jesus, the Healer, led the blindman to where He wanted to heal him. Jesus wanted to build the man’s trust in Him. Like the blind man of Bethsiada, my inability to see past myself caused me to cling to Jesus. All I could do was be led to where Jesus could help me.
Bella closing her eyes in laughter.
We know Jesus can heal and do the impossible. Like Christ’s disciples, we have seen and heard what He has done. Yet how quickly we forget, how quickly we explain Jesus’ work away. “That wasn’t God it was just coincidence. I know God has helped me before but I don’t think He will now.” We have become hardened to the miraculous in our lives. The air we breathe and the heart that keeps pounding in our chest is a miraculous gift. We live from miracle to miracle and we move from wonder to wonder. Yet we look past what Christ is doing and focus on what we cannot see or where we cannot go.
We are a people always looking for a sign, always turning away from the only One who can sustain us. His plan is to do more than just heal us or give us what we want. He wants to come close and teach us what it means to trust Him. He wants us to know Him.
In spite of failing eyes and feeble faith He leads us to still waters. In spite of the enemies that surround and assail our souls He prepares a table of plenty to commune with us. As our blindness prompts us to walk closer to the Lord, we find that He becomes our portion, not just now but for eternity. And out of this dependent relationship with Christ, we begin to walk closer to those who need to know how to walk by faith and not by sight.
Walking blind,
Your Fellow Sojourner
“Close to Thee”
~ written by Fanny Crosby, who became blind at six weeks old
About her blindness, Fanny said:"It seemed intended by the blessed providence of God that I should be blind all my life, and I thank him for the dispensation. If perfect earthly sight were offered me tomorrow I would not accept it. I might not have sung hymns to the praise of God if I had been distracted by the beautiful and interesting things about me. If I had a choice, I would still choose to remain blind...for when I die, the first face I will ever see will be the face of my blessed Saviour.”
Thou my everlasting portion,
More than friend or life to me,
All along my pilgrim journey,
Savior, let me walk with Thee.
Close to Thee, close to Thee,
Close to Thee, close to Thee;
All along my pilgrim journey,
Savior, let me walk with Thee.
Not for ease or worldly pleasure,
Nor for fame my prayer shall be;
Gladly will I toil and suffer,
Only let me walk with Thee.
Close to Thee, close to Thee,
Close to Thee, close to Thee,
Gladly will I toil and suffer,
Only let me walk with Thee.
Lead me through the vale of shadows,
Bear me o’er life’s fitful sea;
Then the gate of life eternal
May I enter, Lord, with Thee.
Close to Thee, close to Thee,
Close to Thee, close to Thee,
Then the gate of life eternal
May I enter, Lord, with Thee.
