I am a woman
that has chosen to make the home her hub.
The primary result of this choice is that I do not have holidays. Mommas, can I get an amen? I have looked for the elusive day off for
years. I have finally surrendered to
reality – it will never be.
Now, when a woman finally comes to this point
in her life, she has two choices. One ~
the cut and run response. I will make this happen somehow – how can I
make these children go away, even for just a little while? But we all know that the desired effect never
comes. The guilt and resentment sets in,
only making it worse. Two~ accept the
good and the hard things that come from mothering children and meet the challenge. Self-preservation has become the nemesis of
this generation’s mothers. Letting go of
me allows the mother to hold onto the
hearts of her children.
Years ago, I realized that if I was going to give my
life to my family, and try to hold on to my own, there would be a forever war
within my soul. Do I raise the typical
American child and then try to reclaim what is left of my life? Or, do I give
up my expectations for having things my way and give myself to my family - hook,
line, and sinker? It wasn’t until death
and loss became very real to me that I chose the latter. Death is unnatural. We know this because whenever someone we love
dies, we do not want to let go. We were
not meant to die. It was sin that
brought death to us.
Life is the most precious of
gifts. We cannot manufacture it on our
own. The body and soul of a person is
miraculous. Every being has worth
because of the miracle that they are. The
worth of a child is bound up in the image that they bear. They are image-bearers of God, made in His
image alone. Not in mine. Not in theirs. Everything they have comes down from the
Father of Lights.
Being a mother was always a given
for me. I never doubted that I would
marry and raise children. I just had no
idea what I was dreaming of. God
did. He puts those dreams there. The problem arose when I added and took away
from His dreams for me, making them a pale shadow of what His true intent was. I wanted to take the Author’s pen out of His
hand and write my own story. Like Eve.
Eve.
The life-giver and our first mother.
There was a precedent set with her.
She was tempted to believe that God was withholding something from
her. Something that would make her life
more fulfilling and more meaningful- a knowledge of which she knew not. When she possessed this knowledge, she believed
she would come into more of who she truly was.
We know how the story ends…
I like to say that something has to
give. This is true. You will have to let go of something, often
many things, over and over again in this life.
The question is, are we giving up what we ought to give?
Discipling as Jesus discipled is an
example of a life given for the lives of others. Being born, being cared for when you are too
young to care for yourself, being watched over as you learn to walk and tie
your shoes and read is very time intensive.
There is no time clock mothers punch when they have put their 8 hours in. Instead, there is a Father in Heaven who
pours out life giving water into our souls as we pour out our lives. There is no substitute for the one who has
been called to disciple, only the discipler can fulfill what the Creator
intends. He has created both the young
one and the old one – and both need one another.
I have only learned what I need to
do to teach and train my children as their needs become known and their sin
shows. In Scripture it tells us of a
call that is sure and irrevocable.
Mothers and fathers, our call is sure and irrevocable. Our children are ours to tend.
What happens when you leave your
garden to another or you leave your garden alone all together? Well, come look at my garden beds around our
house. It is not pretty. Why?
Because they are not a priority for me.
It shows. Weeds and sickly
looking plants abound. The garden could
be so much more. But, I know it would
take daily maintenance. Without it, it
goes its own way and more aggressive plants that do not belong choke out the
young plants that need care and room to grow.
This mirrors my daily temptation.
I do not want to tend and water and care for my children because it
costs me something – something my flesh holds dear. I want my time, my peace, and my space. They intrude on all of those areas. I need to die daily. To let Christ’s death have its work in and
through me every day. And so, I have a need
to be tended, watered, and cared for.
There is no better place to go for nurture and care than the Word of
God, Truth.
Behold, I long for your precepts;
in your righteousness give me life!
For whoever finds me finds life
and obtains favor from the Lord,
The reward for humility and fear of the Lord
is riches and honor and life.1
“Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you
will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is
not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?
For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and
those who find it are few.
Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life
for my sake will find it.
I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for
the sheep.
just as the Father knows me and I know the Father; and I lay down
my life for the sheep.
For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap
corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap
eternal life.
holding fast to the word of life, so that in the day of Christ I
may be proud that I did not run in vain or labor in vain.
For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God.
Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what
you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”
yet
you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist
that appears for a little time and then vanishes.
Do
not fear what you are about to suffer. Behold, the devil is about to throw some
of you into prison, that you may be tested, and for ten days you will have
tribulation. Be faithful unto death, and I will give you the crown of life.
After this I looked, and behold, a great multitude
that no one could number, from every nation, from all tribes and peoples and
languages, standing before the throne and before the Lamb, clothed in white
robes, with palm branches in their hands,and crying out with a loud voice,
“Salvation belongs to our God who sits on the throne, and to the Lamb!”
And so, as I have done so many times in my life, I let go. I let go of what I know was not from God and
ask Him to teach me. Teach me to love what You love Lord. You love children – I know this, for I am
Your child. As I am in need, so are my
own children. And just as You spoke to
Peter, I too must feed these lambs if I say that I love You. And that I cannot do without being fed
myself. I forget. I forget what You have said to me and I turn
to the words that seem to hold real life out to me. I listen to the hiss. I fall.
I see that You are right and when I stray, Your grace and mercy bring me
back to the right way of thinking. Come Lord Jesus.
Mothers, I want to risk something and speak to you. There is nothing worth doing that does not
cost you something. The list of what we give up and die to is endless. But, I am reminded of the One who called me
to this. There is a sweet promise at the
end of this life of giving. He came to
give Himself and die, so must we. And
so, I have a choice every day to accept this calling or to go my own way. And even though I have the same blood of my
mother Eve, I have a mind that is being renewed by the words of Life. And like the disciples, I can either welcome
these disciples at my knees, or send them away.
~Your Fellow Sojourner
